It's the job ad that writes itself. David McVicar is looking for "four strong young guys" to appear in his forthcoming production of The Rake’s Progress for Scottish Opera. True to form, no speaking, no singing, and no shirts are involved.
Scottish Opera say: "you will have to carry out some reasonably heavy lifting on stage during the show whilst semi-naked! You must be available for rehearsals from 13 February to 15 March and then for performances until 1 April. Payment is according to current Equity rates. If you're interested, please email Company Manager Laura Penny at email@example.com with a short paragraph about yourself, and both a close-up and full-length photograph. Deadline 18 January."