Salzburg's chicest interval retreat, the Karl-Böhm-Saal, has been hosting a wardrobe full of shoes all summer. Thirty-four pairs to be specific, hanging from a ceiling as the centrepiece of an installation by Javier Perez. Imaginary couples dance in circles around a phonograph which endlessly repeats the same tune.
It's an apt metaphor for the dress sense of the Salzburg audience, to most of whom fashion is a foreign word.
But there were exceptions. Let's start with the most stylish of all.
Look! She could even wear beige patent platforms without resembling a Russian hooker:
This next lady could never be called chic, but she was that rarest of all things in Salzburg, a true individual. I loved the hallucinatory boldness of her flaming hair and flowing floral robes:
Who would have the balls to dye their hair pink in a sea of helmet heads? Why, this lady:
But the typical Salzburg customer looks more like this pair. Complete with o-god-still-another-four-hours-till-supper expressions:
Some ladies had a flair for colour:
But too many went for matchy-matchy:
The indoors coat was a popular choice despite the summery temperatures:
And of course there were the traditional Tracht-wearers - though not nearly as many as some commentators would have you believe. Mostly they hunted in pairs:
Not many opted for perenially chic black, though those who did were some of the best-dressed:
Isn't the little old Japanese lady on the left fabulous?
Here's a close up:
More Japanese style, junior version. He was better-behaved than 99% of the adult audience, in case you're wondering:
A few random frocks. I loved the plunging back of this one:
These shoes are a bit orthopaedic, but the apple-green dress is just perfect with her hair:
A gorgeous vintage-style gown that billowed behind her as she walked:
And another:
Given the customer demographic, it's not surprising the chiffon frock/comfy shoe combination was widespread:
What's wrong with this next picture? Why nothing. Except that it was taken at 10.50.
In the morning.
Although posh frocks were the order of the day, the odd denim-clad interloper did manage to sneak their way in. There is, by the way, no official dress code, and I didn't feel that anyone was in any way judged by their clothing choices. Except by me.
And to end on a chic note, here's the elusive Bianca Jagger in her signature white trouser suit and leopard print bag. Does she ever look anything less than immaculate?
Not quite the end. Here, straight from Salzburg airport, Sir Simon displays yet another of his fashion Don'ts:
