Imagine this. Stepping out of your cab, you pay the driver, John Berry. As you press your £800 ticket-chip to the Royal Opera House's security portal, the doors glide open. You wonder how Placido Domingo's first stab at Wotan will go tonight. You are, in short, in 2016.
Valery Gergiev has just taken over the reins at the Munich Philharmonic from caretaker-manager Lorin Maazel. But who if anyone has taken his place at the LSO? Simon Rattle is about to leave the Berlin Philharmonic. Andris Nelsons at the CBSO and Tony Pappano at the ROH are both on rolling contracts - and they're both up for renewal. Christian Thielemann has spent four whole years with the Staatskapelle Dresden - one of his longest stints yet. The Great British Bake Off has been cancelled now people can't afford to eat, and Sue Perkins is desperate.
So who sits where in the game of musical chairs?
Can you match the conductors with their future employers?
Here are some wildcards to help:
Cards may be used more than once, or not at all.
Winners will be announced in 2018.
"You wonder how Placido Domingo's first stab at Wotan will go tonight" especially after his stab at Hans Sachs in 2015!
And let's hope Gergiev doesn't add Covent Garden to has clutch of Music Directorships! Long live Pappano!!!
Posted by: Jonnie Ash | 24 January 2013 at 03:29 PM
Hehehe @ the cab driver, John Berry! That's made my day.
Posted by: Nikolaus Vogel | 24 January 2013 at 03:34 PM
Now I hate Sue Perkins, so you've already put me in a bad mood here. But is referencing an abysmal reality tv show that she won, from almost half a decade ago, as a unneeded punchline to an already fittingly facetiuous article not just a little indicative of little crossover the classical world has with pop culture?
Answer: it is. so don't do it. east is east etc... and I don't want to see talentless human beings whose careers consist of being solely a 'celebreity' on these pages again. same goes for Katherine Jenkins
Posted by: god | 24 January 2013 at 03:59 PM
The Lord needs a spellchecker.
Posted by: manou | 24 January 2013 at 05:21 PM
... and would God "hate" Sue Perkins, or even Katherine Jenkins for that matter? He might hate what they do, but I don't think he would hate the person!
Posted by: Jonnie Ash | 24 January 2013 at 06:15 PM
Voltaire said "Dieu a fait l'homme à son image, mais l'homme le lui a bien rendu". I would help if we stop attributing human feelings to God. Maybe Richard Dawkins can help us out here.
(We should also stop believing that God posts intemperate remarks on Intermezzo's blog...)
Posted by: manou | 24 January 2013 at 07:30 PM
He is speaking in tongues, innit?
Posted by: Andres | 24 January 2013 at 10:20 PM
Lorin Maazel is Mister Burns.
Posted by: Justin Chapman | 24 January 2013 at 11:00 PM
How I'd love to see Thielemann in London! Though that seems unlikely, and I reckon Berlin will snap him up. Also, Nelsons for the Royal Opera House.
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Intermezzo replies - Thielemann is building quite some power base in Dresden and I'd be surprised if he'd leave that for anything except Berlin. Nelsons, like Thielemann, is Berlin-based, which might influence his future career direction.
Posted by: EC | 24 January 2013 at 11:21 PM
Is you serias mister...
Mine's a chicken and chips wiv a pint of larrrger.. fanks
Yours,
C. Thielemann,
PO Box 1
Central Post Office,
Berlin
Posted by: Rannaldini | 25 January 2013 at 12:39 AM
I assume that if J. [email protected] is your driver, the brief journey from Intermezzo Towers to Bow St. will go via Torquay, Chester and Kenilworth, in a vehicle furnished with only three wheels, two of them square. And no roof. Running on cat piss rather than petrol. Once a bold innovator, always a.....
As for the mix 'n match speculations as to who goes where, this assumes a mere reshuffling of the extant occupants, like grand musical chairs. However, I guarantee that one of those positions listed above will, by 2016, be filled by Yannick Nézet-Séguin, leaving someone with their arse on the floor (possibly from a still-standing position).
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Intermezzo replies - The only one of those positions YNS could conceivably be offered is the ROH one. But I suspect his ambitions lie in the US in any case.
Posted by: SJT | 25 January 2013 at 04:17 AM
Thielemann for Berlin is a slam dunk.And Nelsons to replace him in Dresden.Andre Rieu? Are you kidding me?
Posted by: Rose-Mary Hyslop | 25 January 2013 at 07:45 AM
no idea what your on about i'm spelling it the right way
Posted by: god | 25 January 2013 at 11:07 AM
Wait, is this east side of the pond only? No room for the Met Opera or for any of the young American up-and-comers?
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Intermezzo replies - James Levine has shown no intention of giving up his position at the Met, and I can't think of any North American conductors who are good enough, familiar enough and personally well-matched to the big European vacancies.
Posted by: Susan | 25 January 2013 at 04:47 PM